"He arrived with all his belongings": Beware, your new crush might be "hobosexual"...

Love is in the… squat • The term “hobosexual” refers to people who enter into a romantic relationship with the aim of obtaining housing or financial stability. Behind this word, testimonies primarily describe situations of control and economic abuse.

Mad love , passionate love. The kind that defies all understanding, all the laws of normality. The kind where moving in together happens on the very first date, not after months of seeing each other. A relationship that moves fast, very fast (too fast, actually). At first, it's almost like a modern romantic fantasy: someone who already wants to sleep at your place, spend all their time with you, never leave your side.

And then suddenly, things pile up, the fridge empties along with your bank account, and you find yourself sharing your apartment… On social media and in the news, one word is now circulating to describe these situations: “hobosexuals.” Behind the videos that poke fun at this new “ red flag ,” the real-life accounts tell a far less lighthearted story.

What does it mean to be "hobosexual"?

The word might elicit laughter from everyone at a family meal… Yet behind this term lies a much less amusing reality. The term appeared in 2017, for Rolling Out magazine , and the definition is simple: “What is a hobosexual? It’s someone who dates you for the sole purpose of having a place to stay—not a genuine romantic interest,” because “hobo” in English means “vagabond.”

Ultimately, there's a fine line between the idea of "moving in together"... and "this person has moved in with me," as Esquire India points out. "Contrary to the romantic image of the bohemian who wanders by choice, the 'hobosexual' is more strategic. They charm their way into your life... and your apartment, often with a travel bag, before staying much longer than what one could reasonably call a simple 'sleepover.'"

At first, the behavior might even seem flattering: the person is very present, very invested, and can't bear to be apart from you, not even for a single evening. But behind this facade, the accounts gathered by the Canadian media outlet Urbania describe a different reality: "He thought he could get away with anything, even though he wasn't paying anything..." Mélanie explained to the media outlet.

The heart has its reasons… that rent ignores

After a few days of chatting, her date told her one evening that his roommates had just kicked him out. She agreed to let him stay at her place "just for one night": "He arrived with all his belongings!" she told Urbania. A few days later, the situation deteriorated. "He became mean, manipulative, and even violent," she explained. When she tried to get him to leave, she discovered that it can be complicated to evict someone living in your home, even if they aren't officially on the lease. Another victim, Geri, recounts letting her partner move in with her after he told her he hadn't renewed his lease: "He showed up at my place with a TV and a bag of smelly clothes," she summarized.

In an interview with 20 Minutes, Emma* explained that she remembered her best friend having a unique technique during their architecture studies: "He preferred to 'invest' in Tinder Gold rather than Airbnbs ," she recounted. This allowed him to change his location and match with women in the cities he had to visit for competitions. The goal? "To kill two birds with one stone," he reportedly explained: to get a date... and a free place to stay for the night. Chloé**, on the other hand, saw her best friend fall victim to a "hobosexual": "The guy moved in with her for five or six months."

"As soon as she tried to explain that she needed time for herself at home, he emotionally blackmailed her," she explains. Now separated, they learned that the man was already in a new relationship, and more importantly, in a new apartment.

I don't love you anymore (if you don't pay anymore)... my love

Because yes, there's ultimately a fine line between love and logistics. But there's also a fine line between love and economic abuse. In many accounts, the problem isn't simply "a partner who's a little too clingy." It also involves money, dependence, control, and sometimes even manipulation. Urbania also points out that imposing expenses on one's partner is a form of economic abuse that's part of the cycle of domestic violence .

A concept still relatively unknown to the general public, but one that refers to financially exploiting one's partner. According to the French public service broadcaster Service Public , this "corresponds to a state of financial control exerted by one spouse over the other. It falls under the category of domestic violence and is characterized by impoverishment, loss of income, and/or financial control suffered by one of the spouses." In Chloé's testimony, her best friend paid for rent and groceries alone, for two people. In another account collected by the Canadian media outlet, one of the victims recounts losing between $5,000 and $6,000 in this relationship.

While the New York Post was already calling "hobosexuals" "the worst dating scourge since ghosting" in 2017, a decade later, this practice continues to affect relationships. So the next time someone tries to stay at your place for several nights in a row, maybe ask yourself some important questions. You want to ensure that this relationship is for the better... and not just for the rent.